“Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but Jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time”
Arab Proverb Quotes
An Emotion Under Arrest
Jealousy is something we as humans all experience. People who are talented, witty, beautiful, or just seem to have it all together are the focus of others jealousy. Many people envy celebrities or big businessmen, without really knowing them. As jealousy festers and deepens, it can lead to such stronger resentments that are truly manifested by the jealous persons insecurity and misunderstanding of themselves. Jealous people become fixated on their token of interest, which could lead to friendship loss, hostility, and isolation. By controlling jealousy, we can learn to better ourselves, and convert jealous feelings into progressive work on our goals.
Identifying the Culprit
Jealousy truly is a green eyed monster. We have all encountered the following situations: when we have a specific talent, and we meet someone who truly is more skilled at that talent, many people become jealous. Have you seen a mother just seems to have it all together? Her children are well behaved, doing well in school, her appearance is well kept, her attitude is positive, and her house is immaculate. Imagine you have been at your position for over five years, and the new bright intern beats you for a promotion. These people have it all together! Why don’t I? What’s wrong with me? These are the key ingredients that start to stir to cook a dangerous brew of jealousy.
When we feel jealous, we must take our attention off of the person of interest and focus on ourselves. Instead of dwelling on “Why can’t I be that way?” or “Why can’t I have that talent or object?” We must change our frame of mind, “I like the way this person handles this situation, what can they teach me?” or “What can I learn from this person to become a better person myself?”
Envy Verses Jealousy
Often times envy and jealousy are used interchangeably in our everyday conversations. The words themselves cannot be farther from each other! Envy is an emotion expressed for an object or achievement. For example “I envy my coworker, she can deal with her stressful job and still have such a positive attitude.” Jealousy focuses on the person themselves, as an object, where our own fear and insecurity mixes with anger. “I don’t know how my coworker is dealing with all that stress and has a positive attitude, she must not have as big of a workload as she says she does, or she must know someone at the company so her position is not in jeopardy.”
Overcoming the Epidemic
Jealousy leads to anger, hate, gossip, and destruction of another person, who deep down inside you admire. Whether he got the dream girl, or she has the best job, or that couple has such a wonderful relationship, all a jealous person needs is a quick tweak in personality to overcome this judgmental jealousy.
If you are jealous, what is it you feel you’re missing? Can this talented person teach you anything? Is there a way to learn how they achieved the success you want? Get into a mindset where you can change jealousy into a quest for personal achievement.
Sometimes those we are jealous of can be the perfect mentor, teacher, or even friend. There is so much we have in common with them and people almost always are more then happy to sit down and speak about what they have learned. Having confidence in our own abilities can calm down jealousy. Being sincere with compliments to the person we admire can have them open up, and we can either learn about their successes or hear the struggle they go through to achieve their dreams. Either way, it’s an eye opener.
Divert your jealous feelings and work on yourself. You can achieve anything that you desire with a positive attitude and the willingness to learn! Focus on the goal instead of diversions and put the disease of jealousy into permanent remission.