Author: Dieter Pauwels
The need to be recognized and validated is a core driving in all human behavior. We can decide to wait for approval from the outside world, or we can find it immediately by looking inwards and recognizing our self worth. How come it is so challenging then to do just that? There are many different ways in which we can approach the issue. Learning to acknowledge and value the existence of our inner being is a great starting point.
A friend of mine, a life coach, stated it this way. From the day a person enters this world he or she is viewed and considred as an extension of something or someone. At the time of her birth a baby girl becomes a daughter to her parents. As she gets older, she is a student to her teacher, a sister to her older brother, and a friend to a few classmates. As she enters her young adulthood, she is a girlfriend to a young man and a worker at a local ice cream shop. By the time she reaches her forties, she has become a mother to her children, a wife to her husband, a caregiver to her aging parents and so forth.
This illustrates that throughout life our individual Self (our inner being) becomes integrated in layers of social roles and perceptions. We learn very quickly about the needs of others but know very little about our own individual needs. It becomes harder and harder for us to separate our own understanding of Self from what the rest of the world thinks about it.
In addition to the confusion, there is an underlying fear of being viewed as egotistical when we turn our attention inwards. Being stripped down of the parts and the scripts by which we play them, we are left open to explore our sense of Self and all that it encompasses. What if, for just a moment we are to return to our sole existence, which we’ve experienced in the universe of the mother’s womb? What if, for just a minute we are to become fully aware of our soul being, which is free of commitments, guilt, and must-haves? Many of us will be surprised by what we find.
Many people today seek the help from a life coach to guide them in this process of crossing the bridge from being a victim to being a victor, from always seeking love to experiencing love abound, and from being selfless to becoming self aware. Some of you may realize that the voice of your authentic self has been muffled, abandoned by the very person it belongs to – you. Others may have a hard time finding the Self all together and will need to spend years rebuilding it, one step at a time.
Though the general idea of self awareness sounds strange, the journey itself is not. You can begin yours today by spending just five minutes alone in a conscious presence of your inner being and feeling it’s lively force within you. During this time, try to think of three things that make you feel most alive. Write them down on a piece of paper and display what you’re written on your desk or night stand. Repeat these positive affirmations in your mind throughout the day and before bed time. Begin the next day with the same exercise and add two more positive characteristics to the list.
Our Self has an amazing ability to spring back to life and flourish with small but consistent amounts of attention we pay to it throughout life. Once acknowledged and valued, our inner being will serve us as a boundless source of appreciation and love. And we will feel empowered and inspired to share our newly found fulfillment with others.
About the Author
Dieter Pauwels is a personal life coach. He assist people in creating positive change in their personal and professional lives. Life coaching provides the structure, skills, support, feedback, learning and accountability to help people navigate change, overcome self limiting beliefs and create the results they want.