I have always been amazed by the idea of how we all have the ability to link either pain or pleasure to actions, circumstances, situations, and/or experiences in life. Yet, it never ceases to astonish me how much pain most people will link to any path they want to take, will take, or have taken in their lives towards what they want. What if there was a way to change that link and make these experiences so pleasurable that you just want to do it over, and over, and over again?
Is it not funny to realize that the lives we live and create for ourselves are just filled with happiness, joy, pleasure, and excitement by default? Are we not born to smile and gaze endlessly at the beauty of the simplest things that come our way? It is without the shadow of a doubt that we are naturally the most creative, enthusiastic, successful, and joyful beings on this planet, yet because of all the conditioning coming from all directions, we are convinced that the lives we live and create for ourselves are filled with endlessly painful moments which will “grind our gears” no matter what we do.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” Buddha
Reality? Pain will always exist. It is what makes you us grow as long as we learn from. The suffering that comes from it is nothing but a self crafted emotional experience that we tend to – consciously or unconsciously – create for ourselves. What most people do not understand is that pain is a form of fear. “Fear of what?” you might ask. Fear of loss. The idea of losing “something” or “someone” has always been conditioned in your mind.
“You say: “He lost his life” or “my life”, as if life were something that can posses or lose. The truth is, you don’t HAVE a life. You ARE the life.” Eckhart Tolle
Always remember that what ever is happening to you now is part of your learning process. You will normally will be swayed from side to side through every experience with its circumstances. It’s okay. I feel you. It may be pushing your buttons and hurtful for a while. It’s okay. I feel you. You may be having a change in your personal life with a partner or a friend or a family member. It’s okay. I feel you. You may be going through a career change that occurred without your control. It’s okay. I feel you. You might have lost a substantial amount of money that you have accumulated for many years. It’s okay. I feel you. How do you know that I feel you? You don’t even KNOW me! That is okay too. Why? Because I have learned from the life within me and the experiences that I face on an hourly basis. I am human too. I feel what you feel and I go through what you go through regardless of the magnitude differences in both of our experiences. What really matters is how you can handle your pain. Handling pain means accepting the fact that just as things and people pass you by in life, so will the emotion you are feeling now. Why? Because the suffering resulting from pain is temporary. It is, again, your own self manifested emotion, and you can embrace it RIGHT NOW. You can shift your perspective totally and switch on your true being; your happy being.
I was driving 2 days ago from the city I live in, Abu Dhabi, to Dubai in order to meet a friend for lunch. The drive normally takes around 1 and 1/2 hours by car. For some reason during that drive, I found a metaphor which I think most of the people reading this post can relate to when it comes pain and pleasure in the lives within us. When you drive inside the city, don’t you have a speed limit? A threshold? Don’t you also switch lanes at various times inside the city to get to the highway/speedway? And don’t the streets inside the city have a small number of lanes which you drive on AND take you to different locations AND have many traffic lights? And before you head to the highway/speedway, don’t you refuel your car?
Best part of all these turns, stops, lane switching, and refueling? Once you hit the highway/speedway, you stick to one lane 90% of the whole journey where you sometimes make small adjustments to your direction, roll down your window to enjoy the fresh air, turn up the volume of your favorite music/radio station, enjoy the scenery, and drive at a higher speed than what you had inside the city itself towards your destination. Now if you think about it, isn’t this an awesome metaphor for life? Think of the traffic light stops, street changes, and refueling resemble how our lives’ experiences look like when we want to get out of pain and start a new journey (our lives are compilations of various intertwining journeys) towards what we want and love? Does it not feel that the first steps are usually difficult? And doesn’t the number of lanes inside the city kind of resemble the choices we have at the beginning until we hit the highway, which is our success? And doesn’t the speed you drive at inside the city and the one you drive at on the highway symbolize the way we feel before and after an experience where we link pain to? The awesomest part of it all is the end result where we reach our successes and passions at high speeds with open lanes and small adjustments as we find pleasure in driving through these experiences for as long as we want until we enter a new city; a new experience.
This is the seemless, pleasurable success that I speak of. This is what gives you direction and purpose in life. Shift your perspective about pain and what it means to you so that you can embrace it, accept it, and live with it as your fuel to learning new things and opening up to high speeds and possibilities which will drive you constantly towards what you want and what you LOVE! And as Anthony Robbins always said “Live with passion!”